Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Randomize
