I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
where are you?
Hypothermia
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
