Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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