the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
