It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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