1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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