it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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