And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
high people should be assigned attendants
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
