he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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