Sry I called you an 8
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
