Sponge bath it is.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
