Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
