I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
