its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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