i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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