dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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