i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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