Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
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