so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
