AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
