So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
