Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
