its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
