you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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