The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
