You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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