my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
