WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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