i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
