i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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