just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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