? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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