i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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