She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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