dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
What a dumb baby whore.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
