haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
