Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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