Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
