Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
