Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
