sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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