So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
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