Ambien. No doubt about it.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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