Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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