God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
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