And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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