i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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