If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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