At least make sure they are 18
Why
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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