so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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