If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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