quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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