i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
