Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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