What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
