wakey wakey hands off snakey
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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