it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
