its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
She needs sedatives and a leash
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
