I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
