I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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