how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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