Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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