dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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