forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
