Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
