"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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