At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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