I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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