Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
