my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
