Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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