can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
