I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
